In 1993 Tina Turner released her mega-hit What’s Love Got to Do with It, which would become her first #1 song since the 1970’s. As the chorus of this song is now likely to be playing itself over and over in your head, a somewhat serious question has planted itself in my head: What the hell was … [Read more...]
Vulnerability – The Key to a Safe and Secure Relationship
Safety and security are wonderful things. Who can argue with that? My childhood was spent in a suburban hamlet east of the Bay Area. Our little bedroom community was insulated by both hills and miles of freeway from the crime found in the cities surrounding San Francisco Bay. As a pre-teen I was … [Read more...]
The seventh ingredient for a great marriage: Creating your unique story
One of the common reasons why couples come to see a marriage counselor is that they feel like their relationship has no direction. “We’re stuck”, and “our relationship is going nowhere” are not uncommon phrases heard by marriage therapists when couples first come to see them. Marriage is about a … [Read more...]
The sixth ingredient for a great marriage: Avoiding gridlock
As a Southern California resident, often times when I hear the word “gridlock” I think of the infamous freeway traffic that my neighbors and I endure on a daily basis. One popular dictionary defines gridlock as: “a traffic jam affecting a whole network of intersecting streets.” Unfortunately, our … [Read more...]
The fifth ingredient for a great marriage: Fix what you can fix
Part of my personal journey toward becoming a therapist includes the four years that my wife and I lived in the state of Washington, and our decision to return home to California to enter graduate school. One of the things that we would need to do to allow us to move back was to sell our home. Part … [Read more...]